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Just the Truth

A quick one-shot. At least I hope it's quick.. This idea has been covered, I know it has. But never in such a direct way. It's been covered poetically, in a long chaptered story, and in other one-shots that get very deep.

But I just wanna have it pop up. Just the CORE of it all.

So I hope this works out alright.

The Joker was very, very quiet in his confined cell. Not because he was plotting or brooding or just letting his mind wander. No.. the Joker was as silent as the dead because, while back-tracking on his brief adventurous escape and reunion with the Bat, the Clown Prince of Crime had just had a sudden.. break-through. An.. epiphany as they were called. Right? That's what they were called, right?

Right. So.. What was all this about? Oh yeah..

Dear sweet Christ on high, on psychedelics even!

How had he not seen this fact before? This very obvious fact! It was like.. right under his slightly-crooked nose all the damn time!

In fact, it should've come to full fruition when he and the Dark Knight had had their chat in the interrogation room and he'd told Batman that he completed him.

Or-or even when he'd been telling Bats while hanging upside down from the Prewitt building that they were destined to do this FOREVER.


Joker found himself now curling up his legs on the bed and staring with wide, blank eyes, mouth slightly agape.

He was like that for about.. three hours or so until they came.

Time for his therapy session with Dr. Quinzel.

At first he didn't come when they called. He just continued to stare.

Then, they at least got him to get up so they could shackled his feet and wrists and drag him down the hall and into the elevator.

His face remained the same, though, as if he was just a vegetable right now.

All the way up to Harleen Quinzel's office, the Joker kept the same lost in space look.

If he'd blinked, he must've done it when the guards weren't looking, because his eyes looked wide open the whole trip.

Stopping at Dr. Quinzel's door, the one on the right wrapped on it and waited until the stuttery "Uh- Yes! Yes, please, come in!" came from the other side.

The two gave each other only brief questioning looks before going in and dragging the patient with them.

Harleen was just sitting at her desk, fiercely trying to clean up her bangs and the bun in her hair, but smiled welcomely to the three immediately. Especially her patient.

Until she saw his face..

"Uh.." She watched as they sat him down and quickly backed away, then stared at his face a little longer before up at the two orderlies, "Is.. is he alright? Is he on something right now?" And she pointed directly at him, a bit rudely.

Usually when such a thing was done, he'd bring up a little scowl and mention some quip like "That's not very uh.. lady like, Doc."

But he didn't.

Not even a twitch.

"No, not that we know of.." The one on the left said, and shook his scruffy red head.

The other that knocked on the door lifted his arms in a quick shrug, then let his arms fall and slap his legs.

Sitting back and staring into the Joker's face once again, Harleen realized that this had been the first time she'd LOOKED directly into his eyes and hadn't shivered or had to look away at something else.

"Alright." She picked up her pen to twirl it and nodded, "You may go now. I'll.. see what I can do."

The big burly men gave each other brief glances, then turned and walked out.

Harleen waited a long while after the resounding click of her office door being close was heard. Just sat there and rocked in her chair and twirled her pen and watched him.

Watched the Joker's black eyes.. glistening..

A bit of his cleaned curly hair fall into his face.

He wasn't even licking his lips or prodding at the insides of his cheeks or making popping noises.

And he's so.. so.. beautiful.

It drifted right through one side of Harleen's brain and then passed over to the other side.

"So.." She started, and then halted right after. Her voice had come out very soft and slightly.. husky.

Dr. Quinzel sat up and then leaned into her desk, crossing her arms on top.

"So, Mr. Joker," She started again, and gave only a brief pause this time, before adding, "are you ready for this session?"

When his eyes finally moved to lock onto hers, it felt like someone had shoved their hands through her clothes, through her skin, and tickled all over her insides.

That was much, much more fitting than the stupid butterflies metaphor.

"Hello." She blurted at his attention now given to her.

And then blushed.

And lowered her head.

"I.. I'm sorry, Mr. Joker. I hope you don't think I'm belittling you.. I-I just-"

"I discovered something today.."

"...E-excuse me, Mr. Joker?" She lifted her head again and adjusted her crooked glasses.

He was back when she looked up again; grinning just as wide as always, baring as much teeth as he could to her. She knew it. She knew it wouldn't last long, but..

"I had an.. an epiphany, Dr. Quinzel."

"You had an epiphany?" Harleen couldn't help but make it sound like she didn't believe it. Because she didn't.

Ever since she'd discovered all his childhood memory stories were all just.. stories.. it was hard, very hard, to discern truth from fiction with the Joker.

But, she guessed, that was the point, right?

The big joke of it all.

Sighing loudly, Harleen sat up straight and straightened out her crisp white coat idly as she told him, "Alright, Mr. Joker, tell me about your epiphany."

"Well.. it all began this morning when I woke up from my drug-induced sleep they forced upon me to bring me back."

"Mhmm, that's because if they hadn't, you know you would've tried bating Batman on once again."

"Yeah, yeah. I know, I know I know.." He nodded and licked his lips wildly to make up for lost time, pulling his legs up into the chair.

"So, I started having this epiphany right there in my bed while I uh.. recounted everything that happened the other night."

"Did you remember everything?" Dr. Quinzel asked a bit timidly, but only because she knew he didn't like being interrupted one bit while he was telling stories.

Oh, how he loved to tell stories...

"Yeah, pretty much.. It got a little uhh.. hazy in some parts, but I'm pretty sure that was just from the force of my head getting smashed into walls an' stuff."

Harleen shook her head a little bit, "Probably." She just added. She wasn't looking at him anymore, she was looking down at her notebook and her notes so far, twirling her pen.

"And that's when it all hit me. When the reality of why I keep doing it came into clarity!"

".."It", Mr. Joker?" Harleen once again spoke carefully.

"The bating, the taunting, the idea of Bats being my equal but opposite..." His eyes were going huge now, as if he were just realizing it all once again. "It's all.. it's all just for one reason.."

Harleen felt her heart rate pick up speed and, without noticing, began to lean in, lowering her notebook. Who cared about notes? This was probably the only chance anyone would get to hear the reason for the chaos Joker caused, directly from the beast's mouth himself.

If only for once this session was being recorded.

Joker knew this was a big step.. especially while still in the confines of the asylum.. But it was too late now. It was such a big deal, he HAD to tell someone! And who better than the doctor he was trying to manipulate?

"I..." He couldn't look at Dr. Quinzel, so he looked at the floor.

"I..." He couldn't look at the floor, it was too bland and gloomy, so he tried the ceiling..

"I'm.." It was no use, the ceiling was even worse than the floor, so he closed his eyes and let utter blackness surround his vision.

It helped.

It made him feel all alone..

But who knew who could be lurking in the darkness.

Maybe even Bats himself.

In that case..

"I'm madly in love with the Dark Knight."

Somewhere, the clatter of what sounded like a notebook and pen clattered to the floor.

Joker opened his eyes after the whole reality of such a.. a serious truth settled in and (hopefully) became one with reality.

Only to find his doctor much farther away from her desk than she had been before he'd closed his eyes. Sitting there in her chair, staring right back at him with no masks of kindness, no lies forming on her plump lips as an excuse for his behavior.

Just raw disbelief and shock.

And it. was. beautiful.

Joker's serious expression evaporated into a grin so fierce, he was surprised his scars hadn't ripped anew.

And it was a very smug grin as well.

"Don't worry, doll face, or.. whatever you women like bad boys like me to call you.. I'm sure you won't be the only one disappointed in time."

A quiet wheeze of a harsh laugh tumbled out, and he let it carry out.

This was the best kind of mental torture ever, he realized.

Telling these love-sick bad-boy worshipers the truth.

"I belong to Bats, and he belongs to me!" He crowed as the orderlies came to wrestle him back to his cell.


I'm continuing this...

I KNOW. I KNOW that out of all my stories I shouldn't be continuing this...


And it might turn into more than a quest for milk, just FYI. Let's just say.. this is the title of the chapter. IDK. *throws hands up*

So there they were, walking down the sidewalk together, the clown and the henchie.

Well, ex-henchie.

But not for looong, Joker sang in his mind as he gave "Tommy" constant glances.

Unlike normal ol' Schiff who owned the body Tommy was taking over right now (Yeah, it's complicated. Crane tried explaining it to Joker once, but that didn't get very far..), Tommy had no qualms against the dreaded clown. Last time the fella came out to play, he'd said Joker was "Cool!" and "Much more fun than our old boss!" Who just happened to have been Carmine Falcone...

Long story short, Carmine wasn't very good at putting up with schizophrenics.

And he'd gotten the rest of his men to trick poor Thomas into walking into Arkham himself and handing himself over.

Yeah, even Joker had shook his head at the story.

So he'd promised Schiff from the moment he'd sprung him from Arkham that he'd never be tricked into anything so.. demeaning ever again. In fact, he'd told him that being on Joker's "team" would make him a better man than when he'd been with Carmine's crew. Even if he was schizophrenic!

"You don't think I'm.. I'm too crazy to handle it?" Schiff had asked, and Joker immediately shook his wild green-haired head. "Heavens no! You'll fit right in! Trust me, kid."

And a few days after that, Joker met Tommy, who made Joker sometimes feel like.. like... a father.. Or an uncle...


Coming to from his thoughts on the past, the Joker discovered the pale man missing from his side. And, knowing from lots of experience, that usually wasn't a good thing.

"Tommy?" He called, sharp eyes darting around. "Toooommyyyy." He called a bit louder, drawing it out and making it sound a bit like a warning.

And then he spotted him ahead.

On a bench.

Talking an old lady feeding pigeons' ear off.

Smacking his lips loudly, Joker jogged over, shoving a few people out of his way like they were just objects instead of people.

"Tommy," He said loudly and sternly, "this isn't what we're out here for."

Tommy snapped out of his ramble of some sort of story he was telling the lady, who was either deaf or too intensely focused on her task of feeding already over-fed pigeons to hear. He tilted his head up and slightly back to look up at Joker who was behind him and the bench.

"But I was tellin' her about my pet Pigeon I had once."

"A... pet pigeon?" The make-up covered face of the man looking down at Tommy, blocking all sunlight and shading his face, looked completely blank.. with obvious bewilderment. Yes, it had to be that. Tommy had learned good on the Joker's expressions through the make-up over time. Even if many of them looked all the same.. there was something different about each one that separated them. For example, right now, he could tell this was bewilderment beca--

"Get up, Tommy." The voice was now just as blank, but deep. It was that voice that made Tommy's tiny hairs on his arms and the back of his neck prickle up. It was weird.

But still cool.

"Okay," He nodded and got up, then whirled around to face the old lady and waved his big pale hand violently in front of her face. "Bye, nice lady!"

In that instant, the lady lifted her head and actually looked at him for the first time. This made Tommy grin and he was about to say something else when and a low grumble wheezed out of that wrinkled mouth.

"I'm a MAN."

"Oh." Tommy stared for probably way too long, "..Then you're a really ugly man."

The old man was about to retort when the sound of a gunshot exploded right next to Tommy and he jumped two feet off the ground and stumbled away from where it came from.

Joker blew on the rim of the gun and then pocketed it, "There. No more distraction. Let's go, Tommy." And he grabbed the other man by the arm away from the bench, knowing, just KNOWING Tommy was too busy staring at the bullet in the old man's forehead to focus on obeying him.

And few minutes later, Tommy was now back to focusing, but mumbled out "I wonder what that felt like.." as he followed the purple coated man.

Joker snorted, "I'm sure It felt like the most wonderful feeling on earth, Tommy."

"Really?" Tommy's eyebrows shot up, "Then how come he wasn't making all those kinds of noises you make when someone hits you or something?"

"I'm not gonna try to explain that to you, kid."

"Why not?"

There was a hint of a pout in his voice and Joker turned his head to eye the other man.

"Hmm.. okay, here's the thing.." Joker looked ahead again, licking his lips all around once before he really started.

"I, unlike everyone else on this sad excuse of a planet, know how to ah.. take pain and turn it into pleasure in my brain." And he tapped his head proudly, smirking over at the other.

"In your brain?" Tommy stared ahead, looking slightly impressed, "how do you do that?"

"Aheh," Joker grinned more and reached over to ruffle his pitch dark hair, "Lots of experience with receiving pain, you might say."

"Oh.." Tommy slowly nodded his head.. and it was all quiet and peaceful as they continued to their destination once more.

Until 20 seconds later..

"HOTDOGS!" Tommy froze on the spot and pointed ahead, where a street cart was selling the big, steaming greasy tubes of left-over meat compacted together. He then began to tug on the other man's purple sleeve and drag him forward.

"Let's get hotdogs! Let's get hotdogs!"

"No, no, no no... Tommy..."

"I want chilli, and onions.." Tommy started saying to the fat, greasy man behind the cart.


"And please no mustard or ketchup, ew that stuff is gross.."


"And I think my friend will probably want one, too. He doesn't get to eat much, you see, because he's--"


The big, greasy hotdog seller dropped to the ground behind the cart and out of sight.

"Hey, what the-" Tommy leaned in and looked over the cart to see the man lying there, staring up at the sky, and another bullet in his forehead.

Whirling around, Tommy bunched up his shoulders and glowered at the clown, who just glowered right back with his arms crossed firmly over his chest. But after Tommy turned to look at him he also lifted a single brow and cocked his head, as if to say "What were you expecting?'"

"I... I don't think that was really necessary, Mr. Joker." He tried to stand firm and continue glowering back, but unlike anyone else, the Joker's eyes burning into him made his ears and face and neck heat up and he really didn't know why!

"It kept you from receiving your ordered hotdog, didn't it?" Joker spoke once again in that low calm voice. It only meant one thing..

If Tommy tested him anymore after this, it was likely Joker was going to get very, very very angry with him.

That had happened once before, but... it was like.. he couldn't remember. Like an entire gap in his memory had been just.. wiped out.

Whatever had happened while the Joker had been very, very very angry at him was shoved somewhere else in his brain where he couldn't relive it in his mind.. At least.. that's what he thought it was.. If there was any other reason why he lost a big gap in his memory, well.. he didn't even wanna know.

Swallowing a dry lump in his throat, Tommy nodded quickly and slouched again, adverting his eyes from the commanding ones burning into his face.

"Yeah, it did.. " He agreed, knowing somehow it would be good enough.

Joker started walking once again, his pace much faster than before, clearly hoping to arrive at their destination soon.

And Tommy quickly ran up to be up at his side, clearing all thoughts of getting hotdogs or any kind of food from his head so that he could try to focus.

Try being the key word there.

And then a question arose from his meddled brain. He tried, he really truly tried to hold it back, but...

"Mr. Joker, what're we gonna do after we get the milk?"

Joker halted very abruptly, whirled around to grab Tommy by the upper arm, and twisted his upper body around to look at his back for some reason, and then turned him again to look at his front.

"Mr. Joker?"

He poked at Tommy's chest a few places, eyes narrowing in concentration, lips in a thin red line.


"Shut it, I'm looking for an off button."

Well, that was productive..

I'm SO getting this stuck in my head..

And whoever listens to this might too! It's awesome and I can't believe I never heard this before. Found it while looking for inspirational music for my JokerCrane fanfic. <3 :D

damn this person for disabling embedding.




Gee it sure is easy writing from the Joker's POV for me..

Is that a bad thing?

Because normally when people can do that it must mean something's going on..

I don't feel any different for doing it. Really.

Maybe.. those who fear treading into waters where a sociopath has roamed (I'm poetic sometimes, shut up) are over-dramatized by those who just fear change and unknown.

When surprisingly, there are quite a few people out there who could be sociopaths.

Someone in your family could be one, and all this time.. they've just been pretending.

See? That's how it happens. That's how basic human conditions get turned into over-blown stories.

It also helps that a famous comic book character is one, and that character just happens to be a clown, which millions of people fear, and a murderer to boot. YAY DOUBLE WHAMMIES.

But I digress. I'm not afraid to dwell into the point of view of such a person, because I know myself. I know this is just to help me develop a story plot, and to get people to read my story and like it because of how good I can do a characterization. At least I HOPE I can do that.

I have a lot to work up to. Other authors out there I've read who just blow me away with how good they have Joker's traits and personality nailed.

So I'm reading their stories for examples and trying to just.. combine it all together into one big ball of personality..

I hope it doesn't blow up in my face and make him schizophrenic.

One good thing about this is that, from what I've studied of his personality, I think Joker might be like an Aries..

Oh yeah, I just totally used astrology with the Joker. >:D

But only because it's true and it helps! Because..

I'm an Aries!

So yeah. That's just my little ray of hope that I'll get this right and people will like it... :/

Sooo, anyone freaked out by me, yet? Don't worry.. I don't think I have any urges to kill people..

At least not yeeeet.

Let's see what happens...

Alright, alright, so I overestimated my ability to type up anything in one night and then put it up.. But I WILL get around to finishing it this weekend. Just nothing specific. My mind is all over the place right now.

Are there any Dark Knight fans out there who'd possibly be interested in an RPG? Just to try it out, see if we can create an awesome storyline and everything.

My friend rancid_rainbow  has a message board dedicated to the Joker, and I managed to "woo" her into creating a section for RPGing. :D Now, here's the link to the RPG part of the board.

You just need to sign up, and then we can talk about anything you'd like to see happening! Perhaps you'd like to RP any certain main characters? Batman, Joker, Harvey Dent, Dr. Jonathan Crane, ect? You're welcome to do so!

Please give it a try! It's a chance to see just how far us fans can really go. >:D



I'm so goddamn proud of myself, of my own fanfiction right now.

I just read over the second and third chapters again and I just have to say:


I'm typing up the third chapter now. x3

The first chapter, when I typed it up, was such a fucking let down, pardon my French. I srsly had to redo SO MUCH in that chapter to make it make more sense that I was sure the rest of the chapters were going to end up just as bad and I'd end up having to edit them over and over again.

It's bad enough I hate typing up things I've already written down. T_T


"Joker don't act that way hurr."

"Jonathan don't act that way durr."


Like they know how exactly those characters would act. Like they're such EXPERTS.

Yeah, I'd love to see them expertly maneuvering out of a situation where Jonathan would have them strapped down and Joker would be carving out their insides like a realistic version of the game "Operation".

That's my only issue now, is other people nagging about how their "voice" is or how they react to certain situations. I'm very sensitive about that, because I highly doubt ANYONE has a real grasp on how they'd act.

Srsly, guys. Srsly.

Not even Heath nor Cillian nor Chris Nolan were sure.. but the magical thing was they made up their OWN versions.

And since those versions weren't explored with EVERY SINGLE THING, there's still room for writers to explore the characters too. We should be given that freedom since.. well..



I'm done with that.

Moving on.. I also wanna add a little tidbit that in the third chapter, a hint of a real main plot device will make an appearance. (I MEAN BESIDES THE WHOLE CRANE KIDNAPPING JOKER AND MAKING HIM HIS PERSONAL TOY--ER PATIENT.)

Scarecrow's going to get his chance to shine~ And I'm giddy to discover for myself where it will lead. Possibly to something a little sexual..


Whoo okay.. No, I'm fine. Just.. really giddy and excited and WHY AM I RAMBLING IN THIS JOURNAL, I SHOULD BE TYPING OUT MORE.

SRTDJYFYUGK I just had to get it out, though. I'm sorry. D: I promise I won't do this again until at least erm..

I'm working on the next chapter. XD

Actually.. I might need halp along the way, from maybe.. possibly.. experienced writers who've *cough* written Crane and Joker interacting..? Hmm? :3

So yeah. I'll stop here now.. and finally post those chappies when I'm done.. Probably tomorrow~ <3


p.s. - Might be a day or two when there will be no sign of me online, cause I'm anticipating spending some time with my beloved best friend who's home from college. x3






it's also giving me weird PLOT IDEAS TOO. D:

60 Revolutions Per Minute

Ok, first of all, I am no expert on alternative kinds of music. I just STUMBLE upon some great music and get hooked.

Gogol Bordello is one of those bands that I discovered that way.

My best friend threw the song Start Wearing Purple at me, and told me it reminded her of ME. At first I was all "wtf" when I heard it, like I'm sure all Americans would do. I'm not ashamed to admit that. But after playing it again and again and again..

I.. finally got it.

And my dear friend was absolutely right.

Anyways, I soon made myself acquainted with Gogol's other songs.

And just the other day I stumbled upon this lovely number here:

Here's the lyrics:

60 revolutions per minute
This is my regular speed
So how do you want me to live with it?
How do you want me to live with it?

Without ringing all alarms!
Without overthrowing czars!
Without emptying the bars!
Without screwing with your charts!

60 revelations per minute
This is my regular need
So how do you want me to live with it?
How do you want me to live with it?

Without ringing all alarms!
Without overthrowing czars!
Without emptying the bars!
Without screwing with your charts!

I'm gathering new generation
That's gonna stand up to it
To this karaoke, karaoke dictatorship

Where posers and models with guitars
Boogie to the shit for beats
I make a better rock revolution
Alone with my dick!

Without ringing all alarms!
Without overthrowing czars!
Without emptying the bars!
Without screwing with your charts!

Si lo mueve como lo bate que rico el chocolate
No esperarás que por alguien me mate

Without ringing all alarms!
Without overthrowing czars!
Without emptying the bars!
Without screwing with your charts!

60 por minuto es mi reputación
Y no te estoy hablando de revolución
Hace mucho tiempo que no te decían
Basta de injustica, muerte y policía

Digas lo que digas ya esta todo arreglado
Hagas lo que hagas te mandan deportado
El que tiene impone y sobre la ley dispone
Mientras que el pobre es pobre
Muere de hambre y otro se la come

Sonidelo nacional esta rumba Cuba...

Sooo.. what did THIS song make me think of?

Well, you see, in the wonderful fanfic
The Doctors And the Nurses They Adore Me So, Joker's doctor Dr. Ruth Adams wishes to.. understand him.. and yet he knows no one ever will, and he explains why no one ever will. Because his mind is going much more faster. In fact, if I remember correctly, he said something about it being like speaking Shakespear and she was speaking regular English.

So yeah, it reminds me of that whole thing.

Even though it has nothing in common, probably..except both this song and Joker himself are quite quirky.


Writer's Block: First and only

Is there a film that you think is perfect in its original form and should never be remade?

The first thing on my mind for this was a totally random answer:

The Green Mile.

Don't ask why, it was the first movie that popped up into my head.. but it's true. It was a very outstanding and emotional film. And it made me actually feel sorry for some people on death row.

I also hope after Nolan finished this last Batman movie, no one tries to remake the Batman story again. They've had tons of different stories made into cartoons, animated movies.. but Chris Nolan's Batman is close to PERFECT, I think. The realistic plots are so believable, that I've seen people ask "Where in America is Gotham City?" I myself think it's somewhere in New York.. but that's just me.

I'm really anticipating more news about Batman 3, if you can't tell. How in the world is Chris going to make this next movie as exciting as the last with such a character as Edward Nigma..? That's the one question on my mind. No offense, but compared to Joker.. Eddy's mostly all bark and not much bite at all. :P But I still love him. The egotistical, obsessive compulsive man that he is. <3

and I secretly hope they find a way to give Crane and Joker brief cameos like they did for Crane in Dark Knight. <3

The Queen of Procrastination

That's me. At least, when it comes to typing up shit. *sigh* Today was just a giant hill... I went uuuuuup, getting happier and happier.. then I went down again and remembered all the crappyness. :(

I swear to god if THIS laptop dies on me...

But I don't even wanna think about that. *sigh* MOVING ON...

I'm just going to leave a buncha stuff out about how today was (Was, because now it's May 1st. Lmao.) and just focus on the part where I explain why I can't bring myself to type up all I have so far of this fanfic.

This happens to me every. single. time too. Even with those smaller fics I did. Dammit, it must be a mental disorder of sorts!

Every time I start typing out the story on word, I can't stop THINKING about how.. PATHETIC it looks compared to other fanfics I've read over time.

I am most definitely an amateur writer. I may have TONS of TONS of ideas, but how I explore those ideas.. how I try to.. explain the story as it goes along and gets into details is VERY poor. My vocabulary is pretty small compared to others that I've seen. I've read stories that draw me in like a moth to a flame and it.. it's like reading a very rhythmic poem, with the right beats and everything, y'know?!

*sigh* There I go again.. I just FAIL at explaining things! Even in fictional story format! You watch, one day some important English Teacher in some important class is one day going to give me a VERY important random prompt, and I'll have to come up with a story for that prompt immediately to get a high score.



But when it comes down to it, everyone wants something interesting... and just going in and getting straight to the point NEVER satisfies the readers, and that's what all writers aim to DO.

So, in order to make that lil' Quest for Milk enjoyable, I'd have to throw in some EXTRA SHIT HAPPENING I guess.

Like say he runs into someone on the way to the grocery store that knows him..

And that person questions his motive.. and um.. I'll just go from there...

"Joker..? What in the.. the world are YOU doing out here.. in-in broad daylight?! Everyone's lookin' for you!" Thomas Schiff hissed, trying to urgently push his ex-boss into an alleyway near by.

The Joker let himself be pushed a moment, his brain being unable to computer the schizophrenic being out here in the open.. no strings attached. But he soon recovered and whirled around to grab the man's scalp. He forced the little ex-bootlicker to look up into his face.

"I could say the same about you, Schiffy." He smirked cheekily at the twitch the odd pet-name gave the other man.

"Don't.. don't call me that! And I actually worked my way out." Thomas wrestled himself out of the stronger man's grip and backed up a few feet, hopefully out of harms way, but continued to glare up at the clown he once.. trusted.

"Aaawww," Joker crooned, "they've loosened the leash a little more? So where'd they place the tracker? The bark collar, hm?" And he tried to get closer again.

Thomas Schiff sneered and stumbled away more. "Look, I-I-I don't want anymore trouble, bo--Joker..." He nearly jumped out of his skin when the man let out a whoop and a gaggle of giggles.

"Trouble? Trouble? Trouble, trouble trouble! No, nooo I don't think I'll be the one causing you any trouble, now Schiffy." He snuck his hand over real quick-like to pat the man's head almost fondly. "You chose to bend to their will, and they chose to reward you.. as much as they could. But now that you've managed this far, what'dya think's gonna happen next? Hmm?"

"I'm going to go home, to my.. to my new home.. and forget this meeting ever ha-happened!" Ugh, he was turning red under the neck and on the ears. He only stuttered THIS much when around THIS particular man.

Another giggle bubbled up and Joker swayed back slightly on his heels, hands in pockets. "Oh yeah, sure. I'll bet you'll make it home fine.. just fine, Thommmas." He rumbled out, eyes sharp on the other, "And as soon as the lights go out, and you're all curled up in bed... well.. let's just say.." He lifted his hands and adjusted his gloves casually, "you might just wake up far, far awaaay from home."

Eyes bulging at the thought, Thomas' skin began to break out in a sweat that could be seen from across the road, even.

"Aww, don't worry, though." He reached out again with one of those big gloved hands and, this time, gently pushed some hair back from his forehead.. soothingly, "I know you're used to that sort of thing happening, right? Just think of all the things that happened to ya when you were with me!"

"H-Ha-Harvey Dent kidnapped me.. almost.. sh-shot me." The man's dark eyes darted around.

Joker nodded casually, "Yeahh, I remember that.. Well, I remember you telling me about the whole little adventure while I drove you back to the hideout! In fact, you told me twice!" He grinned almost charmingly, despite the yellow teeth he bared at Schiff.

"Oh! Yeah.. I remember that. I.." He looked slowly up at the Joker, right into those soulless eyes, and felt like he might collapse there on the sidewalk.

"What?" The clown asked, his voice lowering to a hiss, but his smile still in place and his eyes glittering, "Something on your... mind?"

The man closed the distance between them and hugged the clown seconds later.

Joker immediately put his hands between them to push him slightly away. "Whoa, whoa whoa. Tommy. C'mon, now.. you know you can't just do that... and get away with it." He tried to look absolutely serious.. but it was really hard with this one. Christ, was he adorable.

"What are you gonna do?" His voice was much more softer than Thomas' had been, and his eyes wider. Much wider.

"I guess I'll have to... kidnap you." He managed to say it with a straight face. Oh, I so deserve  to get an Oscar for this.

The man mere inches in front of him went stiff a moment, face frozen.. until he melted into a little.. childishly mischievous grin that a grown man should not be able to pull.

"Where will we go?" He lowered his voice even more, whispering and dramatically looking around.

"Weeeelll..." The clown drawled out, "before I ran into you, I was on my way to the store for some, uh milk."


"Yeah. Milk." They looked into each other's eyes again, and Joker's had a look that said "You have a problem with a clown wanting to get a dairy product?"

"Okay!" Tommy quickly approved, and turned to face the way he'd came and started walking, instantly expecting the other would be on tow.

Joker watched him a moment.. his face going.. unusually sullen.

"..He's gotta be on some tracking device." He muttered and sighed.




Okay, I'm shutting up now. I WILL type up that story tomorrow! YUS!


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